By Phe’dre Von Kallenbach

Whenever a movie based on Greek myth comes along, I always get excited, especially if one of the main characters is my own namesake. However, like all recent movies based upon Greek myth, Euripides’ and Seneca’s versions were more likely to be suggestive concepts vs. guidelines themselves. Like “Clash of the Titans,” this movie fails to impress on anything other than special effects.

Henry Cavill, who blew me away in “the Tudors” failed to elicit any reaction from me as a viewer. And trust me, the man is gorgeous, so how that happened, I have no idea. Instead of being the son of a prince, we are greeted with Theseus’ past as his being dubbed a “bastard” (in the myth, his mother was a queen and he had dual fathers – Poseidon and King Aegeus). Obviously, that part of the myth was rather overlooked here. Phaedra, on the other hand, my namesake, is portrayed here as a virgin priestess, as seer, if you will. Last I checked, she was the daughter of King Minos and no such thing. But hey, this is a loose adaptation right? Let’s not even bother talking about the Titans and Hyperion at this rate. You can all see where I’m going with this.

Regardless, despite it’s rather loose adaptation of Greek myth, I tried, as I did with “Clash of the Titans” and “Troy” to see beyond the myth and focus on the movie. And I was bored. To tears. You see, I love historical fiction. I love fantasy. But this movie bored me in a way that I cannot even begin to profess. It was the same rehashed love story as portrayed in “Clash of the Titans” and “Troy”. Basically, “Immortals” was “Clash of the Titans” with different actors, different gods/goddesses, and a few other tweaks here and there. Bad guy trying to ruin the world, check. Gorgeous, but cursed goddess/female lead, check. The fate of the world resting in the hands of an untried, and yet god-touched youth? check. See the equation here?

My point being: if you want an action movie with a bit of fantasy tied here, this one is for you. If you want a thought-provoking, Greek-myth-representing fantasy, then this isn’t for you. In the end, like “300,” no girl can hate on the ceaseless display of toned pecs and six-pack abs. Alas, only Mickey Rourke sports the beard this time.

C+ rating for me. Not God-awful (did you get my pun? ha!) but not exactly an amazing example of cinematography.