Published on June 28th, 2013 | by gareth0
White House Down
We have not one but two reviews for you.
By Ryan Guerra
They don’t make them like this anymore. White House Down is like watching an action movie from 1988-1994. It is over the top with a weak unbelievable and absurd plot. Not to mention a Scooby-doo like plot twist ending that is trying too hard.
There really is not much to say about this film. Channing Tatum is a police officer who is interviewing for a secret service job to impress his somewhat estranged daughter. While taking her on the tour of the white house, some ho hum bad guys take over the place on some convoluted quest for money, vengeance, power…whatever.
Tatum finds himself protecting the president played by Jamie Fox in which the movie tries to create a buddy dynamic that does not quite work. In fact, in 1990s action film style, Tatum and Fox are such caricatures of the resourceful cop and the idealist president that they possess no depth at all. That would be fine if the action was filled with eye candy explosions, only the action was actually subdued, predictable and unremarkable at best.
As if that was not enough, the one-liners in this film are so bad that they actually become laughably good. Not because of what was said, but rather because they are so ridiculous you cannot help but laugh at them. This may in fact be the film’s saving grace though. If you approach this film with zero expectations and are just looking for mindless fun, you may actually enjoy yourself.
2 stars out of 5
Second Review by
If the 1996 movies The Rock and Broken Arrow had a threesome with the 1992 movie Patriot Games, White House Down would have been the bastard child that would have been born 20 years later.
For the most part, movies are made with a particular demographic or multiple demographics in mind. Knowing this I can’t see how anyone can give this movie just one rating.
- If your mom still has your 1987 childhood soccer team photo hanging on the wall in her living room and still insists on doing the dishes every time she visits your house… this movie is for her. (4 out of 5 stars)
- If your Dad loves football and drinking on the weekends and is happier to see his dog than he is to see you… this movie is for him. (4.5 out of 5 stars)
- If you paid to see the movies Les Miserables or Rent, whether you liked them or not… this movie is not for you. (1 out of 5 stars)
- If you think Sean Hannity and Sarah Palin are outstanding human beings… you will like some of this movie and be insanely annoyed at other parts believing that Hollywood is trying to force its liberal views down your Tea Party loving throat. (2.5 out of 5 stars)
- If 4 out of your top 5 movies of all time star Nick Cage or Mel Gibson, you will absolutely love this movie. (6 out of 5)
- If you believe that Channing Tatum can create world peace one bicep flex at a time or that Jamie Fox’s best movie was anything other than Django… you will like this movie. (3.5 out of 5)
This movie should have come out circa 1995 starring Nicholas Cage and Sam Jackson. It’s oozing with over the top Patriotism (What 11 year old kid is obsessed with the White House?!), has the lovable bad boy hero, the crew of despicable bad guys headed up by a bloated James Woods and a BIG explosive finale with a gotcha moment.
I’m not even saying that’s a bad thing… Some people love sitting down and seeing that story arc play out over and over again. This type of movie single handedly supported the entire movie industry from 1992-1998. I didn’t hate it then or now. It’s just out of place within the context of modern action movies and depending on the type of person you are that may be a bad thing or a great thing. One day I will be flipping through the TV channels on a lazy Sunday afternoon and see this movie on SpikeTV and smile knowing this movie has finally found its home.
So if you are like me:
- If you are a thirty something that is addicted to nerd culture and anime, but still enjoys a really good “bad” movie… this movie is actually for you. (3 out of 5)
If you are bored and feel like killing 2 hours in a theater laughing at how corny some scenes are, shaking your head in disbelief at how predictable the movie is and sometimes smiling about the fact that it feels like 1994 all over again as everything randomly explodes around Django and Magic Mike… I say go for it.